fucking emotions

*sigh* yesterday I had an "episode"... yup, where I just get very emotional to the point that I start shedding tears uncontrollably. It all started at the super marker. I asked my bf if he would like to go with me to buy some groceries, you know? to help me out, he said yes, we met there, but a little after, I just noticed that it didn't seem like he really wanted to be there. I'd ask him to grab a few apples, etc (while I got other stuff) and he just didn't seem like he wanted to do it, he didn't say anything, but I can just tell.

So I told him to just leave, that I was fine doing it on my own, he didn't want to leave and said "whats wrong?... blah blah blah" Then he gave me a hug. I just couldn't help but cry o__O I'm mean... I'm not stupid. Then I just walked out, left the cart there with the groceries and got in my car. I didn't want people to stare at me or wonder what's going on.

He talked to me for a bit and I insisted I could do it myself. He said he had to do something anyway. He left and after a few minutes I went back to the store and had to start from scratch again... ughhh!! I was really bummed out and upset... but oh well.. am I overreacting? is this deuchebag-ISH of him to do?

I got pretty tired from picking up stuff to put in the cart, pushing the cart and then putting all the groceries in the car. He called me like 40 minutes later when I was almost done, to ask if I was ok. I guess...........

Today he called me and asked me when I'm going to have the baby shower, I don't even know for sure. My crappy ass mom and sister haven't even planned shit and I'm the one that told them November would probably be a good time, the 20th to be exact. They don't even seem like they want to do it or excited about it.

To top it all off, my boyfriend said he had a gig that night out of town and asked me if I could change the date to a Friday ('cus he doesn't have a gig that night) instead. I could, but its better Saturday! I mean, everyone gets out of work on Friday all tired, they don't want to go to a baby shower after, do they? ughh.. I don't know.

I just told him, "if you can't make it I guess its ok. I really wanted you to go but I understand." All he said was "are you sure?" and then "ok." wtf... he doesn't even give a shit about going. He could have totally canceled the gig with his band just this one fucking time! That was the plan anyway, to cancel! I am sooo fucking over this! I don't even want to seem him today. I'm not gonna fucking worry about my stupid shower either. If my mom/sis don't plan it and I see it'll be a shitty shower because of their idiotNESS, then I'm not going to stay for the stupid shower. That's it!