this sucks

I think stress makes me over eat. Not only over eat, but the choices I make of the food I eat are horrible! I've been getting 'cravings,' normally for something sweet but it can be pretty much anything... and eventhough I KNOW for a fact that I shouldn't be eating that and that I'll feel like shit after I eat it, I can't seem to control it. I've been stressed about many things this past month. If it wasn't a test, it was being sick with a fucking flu that wouldn't go away, or with finals.

Last night I ate some cheese sticks and then I finished with an oreo McFlurry. I was already feeling full with the cheese sticks, but I guess... idk.. I guess I felt that a McFlurry was too good to resist. Mid way into eating the damn thing, I stopped, took a good look at it, and felt disgusted at myself for eating that shit. It was horrible.. I felt gross...

I got up and threw away what was left of it in the trash and went to the restroom. I thought.. why the fuck did I just eat that shit?? why???.. I was soo angry at myself for not being able to say no :S It's weird but sometimes I feel like junk food is an addictive drug. I guess in a way it is (or at least research says it could be depending on the circumstances). So... *sigh*.. I did what I had been thinking of doing for a while.. threw up... at least part of it. I did my best. I think it takes practice and persistence to do it 'right.' I dont think I'll do it again though, its .. soo wrong and pointless.