bitter sweet

So I'm at 131 lbs... I've gained 12 lbs total. I feel really ugly and fat. I hope I dont get depressed over it. It's like when I wans't pregnant, and was still trying to lose weight (even at 112lbs), many times I dind't even wanna go out because I felt so fat, and now its even worse. I'm happy that I'm having a baby, but I'm not happy about the gaining weight part even if its 'normal' and expected during pregnancy. All I keep telling myself is "just a few more months..." *sigh*

I had my second and much awaited ultrasound yesterday, I got to see my baby moving around and its sooo much bigger! It looked sooo cute and funny, made us all (my bf, mom and I) laugh : ) They checked the legs, arms, spine, etc. They told me everything looks fine and its going to be a BOY! hehe. I couldn't believe it. I was just so sure I was having a girl... i dont know why, I just expected a girl, but I'm really just as happy about it.

I declined the prenatal screening tests (blood tests). It just seems pretty stupid to get them done. I mean, I read the information about it, it said that: "even if the tests come back negative, it doesn't guarantee that your baby wont have any problems. If the tests come back positive for possible down syndrome or other problems, you have to get an even more invasive test (they stick a needle in your stomach to reach the baby and extract some liquids from him/her, if the baby moves, it can even cause a miscarriage!) to be more sure about it, but that even if the tests come back positive, it doesn't necessarily mean that your baby has any problems. That the majority of the cases the baby is fine." Umm... ok?... well.. then all this crap is pointless, don't you think? I rather just hope for the best and pray to God everything is fine, than have to worry the rest of my pregnancy had anything come out positive.

Now I can start thinking about names, and I can even start buying him things here and there :0)

Here are some pictures of the belly.