I decided to really tell my bf that I needed a break, that I was confused and didn't know what I wanted anymore. I told him about my feelings towards him changing. I said "how can you expect your actions not to have any effects on others?... it's like when you do something nice for a girl that you like; for example, you write her a note saying how great she is, sing her a song, etc., she would probably like it and that might make her like YOU more. It's the same way when you do something shady/bad/that you're not supposed to, she might like/love you less depending on the situation."
I think that's what happened to me. After catching him doing things he wasn't supposed to, (flirting with girls, talking on the phone with a certain someone late at night behind my back, telling girls on myspace that they were 'beautiful/gorgeous" and even requesting they send him more 'private' photos of them) time after time, I just came to a point where I was like... wow.. I don't really care about this bullshit anymore. I felt extremely disappointed, disgusted, betrayed. I saw him like this awesome guy that was too good to be true. I guess it WAS too good to be true. He is completely different than what I thought.
I really wish I knew what to do, what I wanted, what was best for me *sigh*...It makes me sad to think that I'll have a baby from him without a dad around. I mean, I KNOW he'd be there for the baby (I hope?)... but it's not the same. I was in love, having a baby from someone that was special and meant alot to me... and now... its not the same... :( :/
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